Every child must enter IIT or die trying
Dear Dr X,
I am a concerned mother, and like every concerned mother, I want my son to study in IIT after he graduates from school. He is seven-year-old and in class second now. What is ideally the earliest age to enrol him in IIT-JEE coaching classes?
— Mrs AB
Dear AB,
I am afraid that it might already be too late for your child. By the class second, most kids who are serious about getting into one of the IITs have already had three to four years of solid JEE coaching. With the recent introduction of pre-natal JEE coaching clinics, it has become possible for kids to prepare for the JEE before they are even born.
Still, if your child is to have any hope at all of getting into one of the IITs, it is absolutely essential that you begin his JEE coaching immediately. You must enrol him in a coaching institute that makes use of the time when he usually plays, sleeps, or undertakes any other pointless activity. If he wishes to catch up with those who have already begun their coaching, he will have to forego his sleep for the next 10 years or more.
There are some critics of such intensive coaching programmes, who believe that such packed schedules will rob a child of his or her childhood, and induce unnecessary and unhealthy stress in him or her. This argument is, of course, rubbish. Experts agree that the notion of having a ‘childhood’ is overrated, and this so-called ‘childhood’ will only be detrimental to the child’s chances at being admitted to an IIT. On the issue of stress, no one has said it better than famed JEE Coach Burgeon N Bess. This is a healthy routine for any child who has begun coaching early enough:
“Nowadays people are talking about stress. I am not referring to force per unit area. I am referring more to mental and physical strain. I am not referring to ratio of change in dimensions to original dimensions. People think that children are facing too much stress nowadays. They obviously cannot think very well because they are wrong. Where is the stress in a child's life? All he or she does is get up early in the morning, go to tuition, come back, go to school, come back, go to tuition, go to JEE Class, go home, do homework for two hours, then study for five hours, and then maybe catch a little snooze. Is this a stressful routine? I think not. There is ample time in this schedule for relaxation. This time should be used for hard work and studies. Children should be initiated early into the coffee habit so that they are able to stay awake until late at night. Weekends is for recreational activities such as casual differentiation and integration, and preparation for AIEEE. These habits will ensure a child's stress-free life.”
Only if your child gets into an IIT will his life be of any worth. If he is unable or unwilling to do so, you have failed as a parent. After all, all the world needs is more engineers (who give up engineering to do MBAs). Your child should pursue subjects like the pure sciences, or art, or music, only if your child is interested in pursuing failure. Everyone else simply has to enter IIT, or die trying.
Wishing you luck,
Yours questionably,
Dr X
